I like to play with dolls

This "exclusive accessory," which ably captures my prevailing mood this week, comes with Sideshow Collectibles' Friday the 13th Pamela Voorhees doll, er, action figure. It is comforting to know that this denizen of Crystal Lake, mother of Jason and [**SPOILER ALERT**] original slasher of the long-running film franchise has been so memorialized. This Mrs. Voorhees, according to her purveyors, possesses "over 30 points of teen-slaying articulation, and . . . many tools for dispatching -- hunting knife and sheath, axe, machete, and a bow and arrow!"

If only all mothers defended (the memories of) their sons with such ferocity.

"Kill 'er, mommy. Kill her!"